Line Challenge
by Christina5
Summary: The boys are sent on a mission. To Trick or Treat!
1. Default Chapter

**Untitled line Challenge**

For failure to come up with a better title  
The challenge was to somehow incorporate these lines:  
  
You cant die now! The kangaroo is only half boiled!  
Why is there a penguin in the kitchen?  
Is that a lampshade on your head?

Notes: Humor, relenabashing, relentless bad humor and jokes. Youve been warned.

In a cross-universe of somesorts the 5 g-boys spent their lives battling the forces of evil (those that were currently evil of course) and living normal lives as civilians. Don't ask how, it's a mystery even to me.

Each boy kept his own distinct personality in this world and each held a profession. Two to be exact, the first being assassin, mechanic, clown, volunteer worker, and martial arts teacher- each belonging to 01, 02, 03, 04, 05 in that order. The second profession, if it could be called one, was following orders known as "missions" devised by old men, if they could be called men, who say in groaning chairs all day coming up with mission after mission.

And tonight's mission was to go trick or treating.

"Oi Heero, why is there a penguin in the kitchen?" Duo shouted sweeping into the kitchen.

"Oi Heero, why is there a baka in the kitchen?" The penguin said.

Duo looked at the penguin. "Nani? Heero is this another costume? First it's a monkey who is really Trowa, now what? A penguin?"

Heero stared at the penguin. "I gave this costume to Wufei."

"Wufei eh?" Duo grinned mischievously. "The great martial arts teacher in a penguin suit? Never thought I'd live long enough"

"Go to hell Duo." Wufei said angrily.

"Oh I am." Duo replied dancing out of the kitchen, the twinkle in his eyes not yet gone.

"Which costume did you give Duo?" Wufei asked. He knew it was either the least embarrassing or most provocative of the bunch of costumes. Heero had been in charge of who wears what on this mission which made Wufei very resentful. Heero had chosen to give Wufei the penguin without a second thought.

"The bat." Heero replied.

"Figures." Wufei grumbled. Nothing could be more embarrassing than going as a penguin.

***

"Trowa!" Quatre whined from inside the bedroom.

Curiously Wufei stopped outside the door. After leaving the kitchen, Wufei had walked down the halls just to encounter screaming coming from Trowa and Quatre's bedroom.

"Why did Heero give me this costume?" Quatre said from inside. "I'm not doing this!"

"It's our mission Quatre! You must!" Trowa insisted.

"I said I like pink but I didn't want to wear so much of it!"

Hm Wufei thought. I wonder what Quatre's costume is "Hey, I'm coming in!" Wufei said promptly opening the door.

A scuffle took place while Wufei slowly opened the door.

Wufei waddled in greeted by a short grunt of sustained laughter, from the monkey. Damn, forgot about this, Wufei thought glancing at his pudgy sides. Nothing can be worse than this. But Wufei was about to be proved wrong.

Wufei surveyed the room; Trowa was a brown monkey with the tail attached to his right arm. The costume covered everything but the face, where the hair covered half of that. Beside Trowa on the bed was a make-up case with much of the red and white gone.

And behind the bed was a lampshade hovering in midair. The lamp beside it was bare, shining brilliantly.

"Quatre, is that a lampshade on your head?" Wufei asked.

The lampshade nodded.

Wufei glanced from Trowa to Quatre. Trowa's face was still contorted in barely suppressed laugher. He can't still be laughing at me, Wufei realized glancing at himself again. I'm not THAT funny.

"Come on Quatre." Wufei coaxed. "Take the lampshade off."

"No. This is the most embarrassing thing in the world!" Retorted the lampshade.

"I'm the most embarrassing thing." Wufei replied. "Nothing ism ore embarrassing than this!"

The lampshade turned down to look through the hole. A flash of pink and Quatre's eyes were gone. A few moments later the lampshade said, "Your costume is good."

Duo entered as a huge bat. He flapped his arms and the cloth between his arms stretched forming wings. "Don't I look like Deathscythe?"

Trowa glanced at Duo. "Still not a god though."

"Whatever." Duo said waving Trowa off when he noticed Quatre or rather- the lampshade. "Whatcha up to Quatre?"

"Nothing" Quatre replied warily. Duo's going to do something, Quatre knew.

"What are you doing all the way over there?" Duo asked sauntering over to the opposite side of the bed. "Oh my" Duo trailed off stopping in his tracks.

Quatre turned the lampshade in the direction of Duo's voice. Tilting it up to see who it was, Quatre stood in fury. "Don't you DARE sneak up on me like that!" Quatre paused, looked around, took off the lampshade and flushed. "Ah I didn't no"

A soft light laughed echoed around the room. All eyes opened wide with shock except Trowa's who was doing the laughing.

"This is definitely weird" Wufei said backing out of the room. Leaning against the back of the hallway wall Wufei closed his eyes. "I did NOT just see or hear that."

The continued soft tinkle made its way into Wufei's ears. "Maybe I did hear Trowa laugh, of course Trowa can laugh (although I've never heard it myself Wufei added) but there's no way I say Quatre wearing that pink dress no way."

Wufei had been standing watching Duo walk around the bed and stop. It is not very often Duo was left speechless and all the times Wufei could remember was because Heero was occupying him- of course this is not total silence either.

It was almost slow motion as it replayed in Wufei's mind. Quatre had turned his face and this time Wufei was certain- Quatre had pink hair.

Before a reaction to this could be made, Quatre stood up exposing himself to Wufei Who almost fainted. Quatre's slim body was covered head to foot with sheer, glimmering material- in the color pink. It sparkled and shimmered drawing attention to every curve. And that's what surprised Wufei the most. Quatre had curves. He was dressed to go as a woman.

"Can't be true." Wufei said again.

"What can't be?" Heero asked coming around the corner of the hall.

"Quatre can't be going as a woman."

Heero examined Quatre from the doorway. "He is."

"With pink?" Wufei asked.

Heero examined Wufei as if wondering what could be wrong with him. "With pink."

A deep sigh let out somewhere within Wufei. He was no longer in the worst costume. "Where are these costumes from? Who would ever wear them?"

"The doctors send them. That's all I know." Heero replied and walked into the room silently, Wufei trailing behind. "Let's go if everyone's ready. We only have several hours to complete the mission and examine the candy."

"I think something's wrong." Trowa said looking at Heero.

"What?" Heero glanced down at himself. The rumpled tanktop was loose on Heero's shoulders, the tight spandex hiding nothing, the large yellow sneakers a direct contrast. "Nothings wrong."

"Aren't you going to be cold?" Duo asked, missing Trowa's intended point.

"No. Now if nothings wrong-"

"Heero! How come you're not dressed up?" Quatre said. "If I have to go like this then you better be dressed up!"

A look of true surprise appeared on Heero's face, one of the rarest moments ever. "I am dressed up!"

"As what?" Wufei asked.

"An assassin, what else?"

Sweatdropping circled the room and all gaped at Heero. "You can't be serious?" Wufei finally said.

"I think its fine." Duo added in.

"Forget about Duo, anything to nothing looks good on Heero in his eyes." Wufei said.

"I prefer nothing," Duo said flashing glances at Heero.

"Save it!" Quatre said being unusually snappy. "Heero STILL isn't in an acceptable costume!"

"What do you suggest I go as?" Heero asked silkily hinting at dangers if Quatre went too far. "I'm going as an assassin."

"But that's your profession Heero. You need to go as something else." Trowa said.

"I've the perfect thing." Quatre rushed (as fast as he could in the tight dress) to the rooms closet. "Ahh here it is." Quatre's pink butt waddled back out of the closet yielding Quatre's pink face and a lit up sign.

That said "I love Relena" on it.

"Now where in the hell did you get that?" Duo asked

"Relena gave it to me to give to Heero several years back. Always thought it might prove useful someday." Quatre responded. "Never gave it to you though." Quatre nodded towards Heero. "Always thought it might provoke you too much."

"Its perfect." Wufei put in.

Heero glanced and started to withdraw his gun to Duo's enjoyment as Heero kept it somewhere in his spandex somewhere.

"I don't think so." Trowa said. "Otherwise we aren't going through with this mission and nothing is worse than failing a mission."

Surprisingly Heero chose the mission.


	2. Part 2

**Untitled line challenge part 2**

The 5 G-boys departed from the house to go trick or treating.

"What is the purpose of this mission?" Duo asked.

"Don't question the doctors!" Heero snapped.

All five looked like true children (minus the height of course) They resembled an odd lot. Trowa as a monkey with none but one half of his face showing; Duo as a large bat whose arm flapping would leave bruises on all the others; Wufei represented the model penguin- large fat and cute- in all ways but one- Wufei was ill-tempered. Quatre shuffled along representing the "reflectors" what everyone in the group was supposed to wear. The highly sequined, hot pink boy would only be missed by the blind. And finally Heero who stalked along ready to kill, fingering his gun (we cannot tell whether Quatre or Relena is the target of his hostility) ahead of all the others. The battery-lit I love Relena sign seemed to be carrying several smashed lightbulbs until, if you looked in an abstract way, it said I love Duo.

Now se shall visit house by house what happened

HOUSE 1:

Ding-Dong.

"Go away! I'm not doing Halloween!"

Quatre's eyes bunched together, Trowa comforted Quatre, Duo prepared to fly, and Wufei waddled away. Heero shot a bullet through the window.

They all ran.

HOUSE 2:

Ding-Dong.

"Wait!" Hissed Wufei. "I can't get up these stairs!"

The door opened to a homely man. "Here you go." The eyes crinkled in a smile.

"Just one more step" Wufei panted. "O-" Wufei tripped.

"Ahhhh!" Quatre screamed as Wufei tumbled towards him.

Ashes, ashes, they all felldown

HOUSE 3:

Ding-Dong.

Quatre tripped over Trowa's tail (what they were doing so close is beyond me). The tail fell off.

Duo bent down to help Quatre up. Trowa punched through Duo's bat wing, breaking it off in the process.

"Immature!" Wufei said barging past Duo, Trowa and Quatre. He ran right into the door.

Which fell down to the owner's surprise.

HOUSE 4:

Ding-Dong.

A pudgy woman opened the door almost immediately (not larger than Wufei though) "Oh what do we have here?" She shouted gleefully. Pointing at Trowa she asked. "What are you a bear? The hairs cute, You picked it well for Halloween." Saying so she plumped candy into the bag.

"How about you" She said sizing Heero up "This is not a very good costume at all!" And gave Heero candy.

"Hm you really need to experiment without pink."

"Bats have two wings!" (I'm not a bat! I'm deathscythe!)

"Oh my" Once her eyes had set upon Wufei she almost fainted. "Now who might you be?" She asked fingering Wufei's beak. "Any man who can fit into a costume like this is my sort of man"

Wufei ran.

And finally we come to the most unusual house on the block. It was huge. The vast lawns covered the broad in a lush green.

"Something must be here." Heero remarked. "Let's check it out."

So the 5 marched up to the door and rang the bell.

The slight tinkling echoed around the house and padding footsteps walked up to the door. Slowly the door creaked open to a tired old man. "I'm sorry children, we do not have anymore candy."

The man appeared sorrowful. "I do wish I had more candy, you are actually one of the most elaborately dressed trick or treaters."

"If not odd" He said as an after thought, eying Quatre.

He's not looking at me~ Qufei thought in glee. Nevermind Wufei thought as the man gave him a once over, twice over and thrice over.

"Then lets go" Heero said.

It was then that the man saw Heero.

"Is that and I love Relena sign?" He asked incredulously.

"Iie." Heero replied and turned around. "Lets go."

"Hold it" thje man said, grabbing Heero's shoulder.

Heero spun around with his gun in his hand. Before the man could mover Heero pressed the trigger.

And not bullet came out.

"Nani?" Heero said, shaking the gun.

"You must have used the last bullet shooting the wondow!" Duo exclaimed disappointed.

While the confusiopn of Heero's gun calmed down the man had already called into the house, "Relena!"

Heero's eyes got big. "Nani?"

"One of your admirers came by!"

A stiffled grunt receivd the omae o korosu glare.

Quatre's pink head shook back and forth. "Pay back ne?" He whispered to Trwoa.

"Who is it?" Relena called as she dashed into the doorway. "Ah!" She screamed with glee. "Heero! You kept that? Come in come in!"

Before anyone could run they were locked inside.

"Help?" Squeaked Wufei.

An unusual smell wafted from the kitchen. "I was hoping you'd come soon." Relena whispered into Heero's ear, to which Duo whapped Relena with his wing. Realizing after that he didn't have one on that side. Instead he hugged Heero possesivly.

"I'll chose to ignore that." Relena said pointedly. "Come come." She ushered the 5 into the dining room, where the smell was tronger.

The five sat down the table. "Is that a crack in the ceiling?" Quatre asked.

"Of course!" Relena smiled. "Ibought a tenton miniature model of Wing Zero! Its up there on the roof."

"Are you sure the roof wont just collapse on us?" Duo asked.

No answer.

But as if in response tot he lack of response Relena gave the roof fell in.

Loud crashed shot around the room and the five Gundam boys took cover asthey were taugh to do. Relena dashed into the adjacent room safe, herself, wildy searching for Heero. "Heero! Youcant die now! The kangaroo is only have boiled!"

Somewhere amid the pile of rubble shook Heero's voice. "I told you I wouldr ather eeat with a kangaroo than eat with you! Not eat a kangaroo with you!"

Sad sad girl Duo thought. Life is unfair especially to me. Whyt did I have to get stuck fending off this abstromisty fro my lover? Duo pushed the heavy weight of concrete off his head, dusting himself off. "Hee-"

"You survived?!" Relena screeched. Muttering to herself she said, "I created that thing to go down when he was right there why didn't it work? Of course Heero wasn't supposed to be under at the same time"

"You PLOTTED my death?!" Duo said incredulously. Pausing, Duo reconsidered. "Okay so you've been plotting it for a while now but still!"

Heero stood up confronting Relena and Duo (who were currently glaring through dust) "Omae o kor-"

"ONNA!" Huge amounts of dust rolled off Wufei's surface area. "BAKA!" Wufei turned to Duo. "She's mine."

Wufei proceededto make his way to Relena, weaving around the cement blocks.

"So much for his never fight a woman rule" Quatre muttered.

"As well as the never fight a weakling rule." Trowa added.

"So women are no longer weaklings?" Duo piped uo.

"This is not a woman." Wufei grunted. "She's a monstrosity."

"That's still a woman ne?" Duo asked.

"Baka if she can affect my hair, she is NOT human! You don't know what kind of stuff I spritz it with!"

Relena just sat and watched Duo argue with the ever aproaching Wufei. "Oh!" She exclaimed when a bell rang. "That must be the door!"

"Quick!" Heero said. Everyone else looked around in confusion. Meanwhile Heero got up, ignoring his cuts and headed towards Wufei. The other 3 took his lead, while Uwfei's fat penquin beak twitched in confusion.

"Out! Out of the costume!" Heero hissed, starting to take it off for Wufei.

"Nani? What are you trying to do?" Wufei said struggling out.

"Um" Quatre said. "Wufei? You look like an onna with your hair down"

Wufei was about to retarde but stopped when he noticed what Heero was doing.

"You mean I have beenset to go off any time?!" Wufei exclaimed.

"Hai." Heero said, unbuckling the 20 explosives attached inside the suit. "The doctors would not let us go on a mission with no protection!"

"Bot to attach it to me!" Wufei siad.

"So everyone's costume includes some kind of thing." Heero explained while he picked up the explosives and set them around the room.

"What does my costume do Heero?" Duo asked.

"Eh" Heero paused before setting the last explosive down. "You'll see tonight."

"Lets move on." Trowa said watching Duo's face light up at the notion of what Heero and him were going to do that night.

"All set." Heero announced. "Move out."

All five moved towards the door, Wufei surprisingly quick now that he was 50 pounds lighter.

Therefore he was the first to crash into Relena.

"Who are you?!" Relena exclaimed.

"You don't recognize him?" Duo exclaimed.

"Oh!" Relena smiled her I-was-pretending-I-Didn't-know-you-and-Duo's-A-baka. "Wufei! I thought you were a girl!"

Wufei glared. Relena smiled. Duo shut up being violently tugged on by Heero.

"We've got to get moving." Heero said. "Come on!"

The five marched right ouw, Relena close behind.

"But but the kangaroo!" Relena stuttered. "And Wufei doesn't have his costume!"

"Go get it." Heero said as flames enveloped Relena.

"Mission accomplished!"

"Oi Heero! She's still alive!" Duo exclaimed.

Althought flames shot violebntly out the windows Relena's voice was heard. "You cant kill me!"

"I was right!" Wufei chattered looking around for agreeance. "Relena isnt human! She can affect my ponytail and not be killed!"

"Hohoho" Relena' voice echoed from the burning house.

"Its normal" Heero said. "The explosions are designed to keep her alive."

"Nani?" Duo exclaimed. "You really want her alive?"

"We were not expected to meet her today." Heero said. "However if we killed her we would no longer have missions."

"Don't we not want any more missions?" Trowa quieried.

"Missions are all important!" Heero cried out. "If they ended why we would not have any job."

"We ALL have jobs." Wufei said.

"True." Heero acknowledged. "However once the missions ended we would have no means to stay together."

"So excellently phrased, I almost thought you were going to move out." Wufei said sarcastically.

"Actually." Quatre said looking very much a buisness man. "By ending our missions we would no longer have any source of income and be forced to move into a smaller house."

"That could be an advantage." Duo grinned.

"Doesn't Quatre have enough money to support us?" Wufei asked.

"You do?" Trwoa said in surprise.

Quatre smiled sheepishly. "Um I well"

All of the others stared at Quatre with piercing eyes, oblivious to the roaring fire quickly dissapating behind them.

"I sdort of submitted to my sisters and well they spent it all." Quatre said.

"On what?" Wufei asked.

"Make up and stuff you know"

"No wonder." Trowa mused. "You knew so much about putting makeup on!"

"Heero! Wait one moment I'll be along!" Relena screamed bringing all 5 G-boys back to reality.

"So you see we cant kill her." Heero hissed summing up the debate. And ran, with the others trailing not far behind.

So Relena was allowed to live, and so ends this silly fic.


End file.
